Pan Post 162
Pan Post 162 is the final part of the Christmas Special of Britt: The Legend and once again Britticus Fay cannot remember what happened narratively, though he knows real time went past, so he asks William Shakespeare to remind him. Bill explains that Ingram Frizer was discovered to be possessed by a demon after he murdered Christopher Marlowe so he was exorcised by priests and released. Mephistopheles then enters the room and offers to make a deal, which Britt wants to hear. Britt wants to stop entering BrittSleep, which was forced upon him by The Negotiator, while Bill wants nothing, not even raising his son from the dead. Though Britt couldn't remember it, the two men had already prepare summons for another demon to defeat Mephistopheles. The Evil One arrives and tells Mephistopheles that the new Devil, Mr Three, is renegotiating the contract of Doctor Faustus and that Mephistopheles is to return to Hell. The two demons vanish and leave the humans alone. Post Christmas 2017 Part III In Shakespeare's study, backstage of the Blackfriar's Theatre, the room is lit by a few orange candles and smoke fills the room from the musk incense that is burning all around the place. Bill: "And so then Pan--" Britt: "The goat-man." Bill: "Right. He puts the love potion on the wrong guy, so he falls in love with--" Britt: "Wait!" Bill: "What? What's wrong? I was getting to the good part!" Britt: "I feel like... I've missed something." Bill: "My play last night! Stop getting drunk with wenches! Get drunk with me instead!" Britt: "You're so gay, you know that right?" Bill looks flustered. Britt: "But no. I mean... what happened to Ingram Frizer? And Faustus for that matter!?" Bill: "You don't remember?" Britt: "No! I mean yes. But it's like... it was a dream or something. Like it didn't actually happen! Come to think of it, I think I had this feeling before." Bill sighs. Bill: "You drink way too much." Britt: "You drink more than I do!" Bill: "Or you have syphilis. It eats your brain, you know?" Britt: "What!? I don't have-- Just tell me what happened." Bill: "We found evidence against Frizer, both for conspiring with demons and for the murder of Kit." Britt: "Poor Kit..." Bill: "We took it to Francis Walsingham, your spy boss. He didn't arrest Frizer because the guy is working for him, but since Frizer was possessed by a demon they called in a whole army of priests to bless him until the demon was exorcised!" Britt: "Sounds dramatic! Why don't I remember it properly!?" Bill: "Are you a priest?" Britt: "No... not yet anyway." Bill: "Then why would you be there? We just went about our business and we were told last week that Frizer was freed. So that's that." Britt: "And what about Faustus?" Bill: "Well--" The door to Shakespeare's study creaks open and they look up to see the grey monk standing in the doorway. Mephistopheles stares at them. In human form, he is not overly tall, nor bulky. And yet he exudes an aura that makes him feel larger than life and a foreboding force. His grey-blue eyes glow lightly in the darkness of the low-lit room. Mephistopheles: "It seems you have proven yourselves quite troublesome in my schemes." Britt: "Yeah... sorry about that." Mephistopheles: "I am conflicted about how to proceed with you. I had considered summoning another, more terrifying demon from Hell. You dealt with Sandy Claws, but I could summon Father Killmas or some other such foul creature... or perhaps we could reach an accord?" Britt: "An accord?" Bill: "We don't deal with demons!" Britt: "Now now. No need to be hasty, Bill." Mephistopheles seems happy at Britt's response and eases into the room. The fury behind his visage dampens and he appears nothing more than an old man in grey robes. Mephistopheles: "What troubles you, my good men? What ailments do you have that I can help you overcome? Some flaw in your character, some unattainable goal yet to be reached, some sickness that ails you?" Bill: "He does have syphilis." Britt: "No I don't!" Mephistopheles: "Dr Faustus was unable to control the flow of aether that coursed through his body. I helped him with that. He grew more powerful than ever, able to control every ounce of magic. I have cured lepers, helped poor men rise to become kings, brought wealth and happiness to an entire family for generations. What troubles you both?" Britt: "Well, I do fall asleep a lot." Bill and the demon look at Britt in stunned silence. Bill: "That's it?" Britt: "No no. It's not a normal sleep. I call it BrittSleep. That damn Negotiator tricked me into signing a contract so I would live forever but then I fall asleep all the time!" Mephistopheles suddenly appears smaller than he had done a moment ago and his face is racked with worry but also eagerness. Mephistopheles: "Yes. Yes I can help with that! You can pass your contract over to me and I shall become your new supplier of eternal life. Without the pesky caveat." Britt: "Seriously?" Bill: "You can't trust him, Britt! He's the devil!" Mephistopheles: "An arch devil, if you please." Britt points at Bill's head. Britt: "He's going bald. Can you cure that?" Bill: "Hey!" Mephistopheles: "Alas. Baldness is one ailment I am unable to cure. It seems men of the world are doomed to be bald for all eternity. I believe it is an age-old curse by some forgotten demon, you know? Very intriguing story really." Bill: "That sounds... absolutely ridiculous. Besides, you're going bald too!" Britt: "Not as much as you!" Bill: "And the demon is bald!" Britt: "He chooses to look bald!" Mephistopheles: "I believe, William Shakespeare, that your... son was taken from this world?" Bill looks at the demon sternly. Bill: "No." The demon gives the human a quizzical look. Bill: "I mean no, I will not accept whatever your offer is. Not even that." Mephistopheles: "Well, it seems only you wish to take my offer Britticus of Rome." Bill: "Actually, Britt won't remember this until now I mention it, but we decided to defeat a demon - we'd need help from another demon." Mephistopheles seems to notice the candles and the incense for the first time. Before he can escape, another demon erupts from the smoke. Invoked via traditional summoning with incense means the demon doesn't take on an actual physical form, unlike Mephistopheles, but instead takes on a shrouded presence in a smoky-shape. The Evil One: "Having fun, old friend?" Mephistopheles snarls and the old, kind face now appears grotesque and warped. The Evil One: "You have been a busy bee, haven't you? And yet, when I checked, it seems you haven't cleared this little escapade of yours with the Devil's Advocate or the Devil himself. How rude." Mephistopheles: "It's my business! I do as I like!" The Evil One: "The new Devil doesn't like it when we make unauthorised excursions, you know that. It creates a lot of paperwork..." Mephistopheles: "Paperwork be damned!" Everyone else chuckles at that. Mephistopheles: "It's too late! The human has sold his soul to me! I own it and I exercise my right to it!" The evil cloud seems to glance at Britt. Britt: "Not me! He's talking about Faustus!" Mephistopheles: "All that power of magic in a single body. You don't know how wonderful it feels! As my vessel I shall rip through this land like a fierce wind! I am entitled to this, it is my right as owner of the soul!" The Evil One: "Actually, Mr Three is already negotiating a new contract with the good doctor. One that will let him get on with being lazy, in exchange for control of the aether. It's better for everyone this way." Britt grumbles about negotiating contracts. Mephistopheles: "He has no right--!" The Evil One: "He has every right! An illegal contract can be usurped by the Devil himself. And you know he likes contracts! You, Mephistopheles, will be lucky to remain within the upper ranks of Hell at all. I suspect you will be demoted from Arch Demon though. Maybe you'll be a general under the Majordomo? That, alas, is not for me to decide." Mephistopheles: "I won't give u--" A black hole forms within the stomach of the grey monk and he implodes into himself before disappearing. The two humans grab their stomachs with sympathy pain. The Evil One vanishes without so much as a goodbye. Britt: "I thought you said you wouldn't negotiate with demons? You called that guy?" Bill: "It was your idea! You said some man in a suit suggested it to you in a dream! Honestly, your memory. We need to go to a doctor and get you some syphilis medicine. They have some good leaches." Britt: "I don't have syphilis!" Category:Post Category:Pan Post